In 25 years of living abroad: a career, an international marriage, three children, a divorce, two businesses.

No "normal."
No "obvious."
No single "right way."

Not just the reality of living overseas — but the differences in how people see work and marriage. Raising children in the middle of different cultures and values. The pressure of being asked, not as a gender or role, but simply as a person: how do you want to live?

There were many moments when my sense of self was shaken, and my confidence was quietly taken from me.

In Japan, I was told I wasn't "Japanese enough."
Abroad, I was told I was "too Japanese."
When I worked, I was asked about "balance."
When I prioritised family, I was asked "is that really okay?"

Is just being myself not enough?

I carried that feeling as I moved through each new environment — adapting, adjusting, reshaping who I was to fit what was around me.

Even as I raised my children, ran a company in Canada, and achieved real results working for an American firm — I never fully felt like my life was my own. No matter how hard I worked. No matter how much I was recognised. If I wasn't choosing from my own values, something always felt off. I came to understand: a life that feels like yours doesn't come from external results. It comes from choices made from within. It took me a long time to see that.

Looking back, I had been chasing approval, trying to fit inside someone else's idea of right —
until I arrived at something very simple:

I just want to live as myself.

Even if the path is longer.
Even if I fail.
Even if I'm not sure of myself.

To make choices I can stand behind, and walk a life I chose.

I have fallen many times. And I have kept getting up, refusing to give up, finding a way forward.
I have also found joy along the way — not in living the "correct" life, but in living the one I chose.
That became something I wanted to show my children, too — as a parent, as a person.